Today I Buried My Overweight Husband

My husband has had a weight problem for the last few years and at first it was kind of cute to tickle his belly and utter quips about his love handles.  As time went on the jokes faded and he went from a size 32 waist to a 34 and then somewhere along the journey he became a 46.  His weight became something that just started to cruise unchecked and out of control.  I was maintaining my cute figure and by this time was getting upset with "his” weight problem.  As the good wife I always ensured I would keep him in underwear that fit and purchased him new pants when I could not let out the old ones anymore.  Somewhere after he couldn’t fit into his size 50 trousers anymore I received the phone call.  He had a massive heart attack while sitting at the traffic light downtown and was dead before the light turned green.  I was so mad at him at first.  I thought to myself that it was very selfish of him to not get his weight under control and to have left me alone with the children and the bills.  Then, after the funeral I started to think of the things I should have done to help him at least stop gaining the weight.

I was the main creator of the menu.  I always assumed the weight problem was his and he should have just eaten less food and he would have stopped getting so fat.  I now realize that I could have substituted so many high fat items for low or no fat and he would have never noticed.  My hubby was not the type of person who liked to be nagged and the changes in his diet could have been done in such a way that he would have never even noticed.  Easy examples could have been no fat sour cream instead of full fat.  The salt shaker could have been lost or at least filled with a healthier product.   I could have prepared more meals at home instead of using the convenience of fast food as often.  The list of things I could have done would be long if I were able to stay composed long enough to complete it. 

If you are in a situation that involves one person being overweight  and you want to keep them around then you need to act and to take charge and keep the nagging to nil.  If you are the quiet caretaker of your family you can put your loved ones on a healthier track without them even being aware it is being done.  You can park further from the door in the mall.  You can decide to take a walk and ask for company.  I look back on all the little things I could have done to help my husband and I regret not being more proactive.  His death was not my fault, I realize that.  I can’t help that if I would have learned and understood that he always ate what I put on his plate I could have altered the ingredients.  If I would have started a more active lifestyle he might still be with me today.

You Can Start the Journey Without Them

If your spouse is not ready to lose weight then they are not ready.  There are things you can do to help nudge them on their journey.  You do not have to be a nag, you just have to be subtle and hopefully at least the weight gain will be minimized until they are ready to lose the weight.  Heck, it would have been better than being alone.

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